it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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