from now on my penis is your penis
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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