i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
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Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
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So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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