i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
A+ Viking dick
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
