basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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