Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
