This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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