i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
