so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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