We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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