U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
