I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
