Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Found your dick twin last night
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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