I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
