but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
