Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
