so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So many bounce houses so little time
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
