I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
