It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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