So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
