The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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