What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible idea I love it
Drunk is not a location!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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