evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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