I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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