Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
