i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
