if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize