I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
