im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
