just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
