were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
