Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
