I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gift wrapped bread.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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