Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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