Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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