Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
