just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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