One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
too bad you live with your parents still
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
