It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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