I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
