Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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