I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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