don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
