so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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