So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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