I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
