I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
