Having a random hookup so left but love u
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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