i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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