hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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