I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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