So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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