Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
