Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
