so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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