you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
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So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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