Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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