ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
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