I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize