Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Randomize
