i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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