Sponge bath it is.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
