smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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