I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
