If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize