wakey wakey hands off snakey
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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