last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
