they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
